The One Thing You Need To Know About Great Sex
… is that it doesn’t always take two to tango, if’n you know what I mean.
And our gyno guru, Dr. Sherry, totally agrees. As a matter of fact, she says the key to achieving that head spinning, blurred vision, stomach dropping like you’re on a rollercoaster feeling, is to find what works best for your body.
Haven’t quite found that yet?
We got you!
In this month’s chat with Dr. Sherry, she’s answering all of your most curious questions about sex.
Is masturbation normal?
Masturbation is totally normal, and a fabulous way to figure out what feels good for you. By taking matters into your own hands (quite literally), you can get in touch with what you like and dislike sexually. So when it comes time to having sex with a partner, you’ll know how to guide them straight to your pleasure points.
Truly, you should never feel awkward, shameful or guilty about pleasuring yourself. Not only does it help you understand your body better, but research has shown that masturbating can reduce stress, strengthen muscle tone and help you sleep better.
How often should I masturbate?
As far as we know, there’s no masturbation barometer. While some people masturbate every day, others never will. This, and everything in between, is totally normal. The only thing you want to watch out for is that the frequency of your “self love” isn’t making it so that you’re unable to orgasm with a partner. After all, you don’t want to be the only person who can please yourself.
What’s the best way to masturbate?
When it comes to masturbation, there is no right way or wrong. How you choose to do so is totally up to you, though being in a comfortable place and in the right mood is key. Then have yourself a little fun learning your pleasure points using hands, fingers, sex toys, fantasies or porn.
How do you find the best self-pleasure products?
That all depends upon what you like sexually. If clitoral stimulation is your thing, the Inspire Vibrating Ultimate Wand, Magic Wand or Ultra Bullet might tickle your fancy. Prefer to have your clitoral stimulation with a side of G-Spot love? Well, you might lean more towards The Rabbit Habit Deluxe, or the rechargeable Je Joue Dua Remote Vibe. Or maybe you’re more into the feeling of vaginal fullness? Then a good old fashioned dildo might be just the thing.
Regardless of which route you go, it’s encouraged that you step out of your comfort zone, explore and be daring. After all, it’s all in the name of safe and enjoyable sex!
Speaking of safe, you’ll want to make sure whatever sex toy you decide to try is made out of silicone as they aren’t porous and are easier to clean. Avoiding toys that are absorbent, spongy and permeable is always a good guideline, as these materials can increase the risk of bacteria that builds up on the toy itself.
Should I pleasure myself while I’m on my period?
Why not?! Masturbating during your period can even have the double bonus of relieving pain associated with period cramps.
If you’re worried about the mess, take your waterproof sex toy to the shower, or focus on non-penetrative pleasure while wearing your Lunette Menstrual Cup.
What about sex? Can I have sex with a partner while I’m on my period?
Lots of people LOVE having period sex!
Not only does period blood make for a great lubrication, but you may notice that your sex drive is ramped up too!
Can I get pregnant when I have sex on my period?
The short answer is yes. So always play it safe and use a reliable birth control method, even when you’re on your period.
Speaking of birth control, what are some good options?
There are ALL KINDS of birth control options out there. And just like picking the right sex toy, it all comes down to personal preference.
From the pill to an IUD and other long term birth control options, you have exactly that - options. Want to nix the hormones and go for a barrier method? Then reach for a diaphragm, cervical cap or condoms.
If I do get pregnant, how can I tell that I am?
Whether you’re on birth control or not, if you miss a period, it may be an indication that you’re pregnant. Though there are definitely other reasons why your period could be late. But if you start to notice that you’re experiencing breast tenderness, fatigue and nausea for no known reason, it’d be a good idea to take an over the counter pregnancy test.
When in doubt, follow up with your healthcare provider to be 100% sure.
What if having sex hurts?
If you’re finding that sex is painful, don’t panic. Just be sure to make an appointment with your doctor to explore the reasons why this may be happening.
Common causes can be anything from sexual positions that provide deep penetration, vaginal dryness due to inadequate foreplay, breastfeeding and even menopause. But those aren’t the only things that could be going on. Your doctor may also want to explore whether this is due to a sexually transmitted infection, endometriosis, an allergy to condoms or even caused by emotional trauma or a past history of sexual abuse.
What if I’m just not interested in sex?
Understanding why you’re not interested in sex is the most important step in knowing how to proceed.
It’s no secret that the daily stresses of work, money, children, relationships and diminished energy can take its toll on all areas of your life - including your sex life. But some other causes could include depression, anxiety, lack of privacy, medical conditions or side effects from medication.
There are even some of us who identify as asexual and maintain healthy and happy romantic relationships without needing or wanting sex.
But if you’ve previously been interested in sex and are wanting to ramp up the heat in your sheets, it may be as simple as a weekend away with your partner to get you back on track.
Whether you’re getting your kicks from masturbation or having a roll in the hay with your partner, remember that this is all for YOU. Never, ever ever, feel ashamed for wanting to experience pleasure, or even drawing boundaries around what feels good and what doesn’t.
I mean, they don’t call this sexual pleasure for nothing.